He said to them, "My heart is full of sorrow, to a point of death. Stay here and watch me." (v. 38)
After walking a little farther away from them, Jesus fell to the ground and prayed. My Father, if it is possible, do not give me this cup of suffering. But do what you want, not what I want." (v. 39)
Then Jesus went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this painful thing to be taken away from me, and if I must do it, I pray that what you want will be done." (v. 42)
Jesus knew that what God desired most from him was obedience; faithful obedience. Jesus was 100% God, but also 100% man. As a man, of course, it's normal to experience pain, hurt, nerves, and much more. Jesus prayed to God about his future death. As read in the verses, He even asked for God to take away this "cup of suffering" if at all possible. In Luke 22:43-44 it mentions, "Then an angel from heaven appeared to him to strengthen him. Being full of pain, Jesus prayed even harder. His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground." But ultimately, He wanted God's will even if it caused His own death. And it is not that Jesus didn't want to die for us. He loved us SO much that He wanted to be obedient to God to rescue his children. Jesus sees our value and worth. He understood that it was a huge task, but if God wanted him to "go" then He said he would go.
I love reading this passage. It's rare to find moments in the word when Jesus is asking God that if it's at all possible, to not let this plan of suffering to go through. But you read Jesus say, "But do what you want..." What could be harder than Jesus dying on the cross? Sometimes I tend to freak out over little, microscopic things. When I compare them to what Christ had to do, they seems so small, some even insignificant. Jesus was so obedient to God even in the hardest situation. Surely, I can be obedient to God in anything less. And if Christ is in me, then I'm much more confident I can be obedient to God in the things he calls me to do. The One who was obedient even to the point of death is within me, then most definitely I can be obedient and with a confidence and help from His Holy Spirit.
Obedience is a choice. I can choose to not be obedient or to be obedient. How this passage speaks to me though is when it seems hard to be obedient, it can still be done. God's spirit is working in me and for me. Maybe to some this passage doesn't speak as much; maybe to some is reveals so much. It revealed a lot for me. I haven't read anything about Jesus like it. The prayers he asked were almost shocking to me. But He was just so selfless, humble, and God-fearing.
Do what you want, God.
Who am I to tell my Creator how my life should go?
❤ Ariel Christine